playing the tool

writing is a whimsical and ambiguous process. well...for me it is.
i begin a story with a loose concept, an idea about a conflict, and my main characters in mind. no names. names come later.
from there, it's up to the story. cliche' as it is, the thing takes on a life of its own. the story's in control and i'm only a tool. an instrument at its disposal, who's main purpose is to tell.
i zigzag up and down, often get stuck going in circles, even figure eights, and finally find my way to the end. never once have i experienced that illness known as writer's block. the ideas come without effort (i'm knocking on this wood desk in front of me).
once the story is told, i'll go back and fill in the gaps, take out unnecessary randoms, and pretty it up.
my favorite part is reading it from start to finish.
never do i allow myself to read large portions of what i've written. if i did this, i would never finish due to the curse of editing. so i wait. not until i've written that final line will i go back to the beginning.
and seeing the story come together, reading things for the first time because i've forgotten ever writing them in the first place, that's what i revel in. it's simultaneous elation, excitement and anxiety. and it's all mine.

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